Insomniac

Everyday people go through obstacles that help make up the structure of their individual lives, and whether people like it or not, these obstacles may be filled with struggles and disappointment. Sometimes these obstacles may not be obstacles that we particularly planned out for ourselves in the hopes of succeeding; however, certain things must be faced due to them being completely out of one's control. After a long hard day of school, I find myself ready to wind down and forget about the 7 hours of laborious learning I've faced throughout the day. Sure, saying that learning is laborious may seem a little dramatic, but who can blame me? Day in and day out, I come to school and learn about things that I may never end up using again for the rest of my life. Certain subjects I don't mind (anatomy, psych, and stat...........science and math are my thing ya know) while there are others I don’t exactly care for; yet there’s nothing I can do about it. As a student, I come in and learn what I'm told I need to know in order to function for the rest of my life, whether I want to engage in that particular subject or not. With the overabundance of information I take in from day to day, the idea of sleeping always seems to put a smile on my face. Sleeping is where I can rest and take my mind off things. Sleeping is where I can forget the worries and stress that arise due to my day to day activities and simply let my mind wander. Sleeping is where I can simply let my imagination take over and fill my head with vibrant dreams. Sleeping is a necessity for my sanity. If I couldn't sleep, if I couldn't fully unwind and relax after a day of hard work, I'd more than likely lose my mind. It fascinates me when others connect to one another through forms or art or literature, and one piece of poetry, by Maya Angelou, that really seems to connect with me and my deep desire/love towards the act of sleeping is called "Insomniac". The poem goes a little like this:

There are some nights when

Sleep plays coy,

Aloof and disdainful.

And all the wiles

That I employ to win

Its service to my side

Are useless as wounded pride,

And much more painful.

 

When I first read this poem, I felt an instant connection; it was as if all the feelings that were arising from this speaker due their sudden attack of insomnia were the feelings that I’ve once faced before on one of those rough nights where there is constant turning and discomfort within my own bed. Dealing with sleeping is almost as if you really are dealing with something “coy”; some nights, sleep comes instantly, almost too quickly, while others it seems as if sleep while never come about. The idea of sleep almost represents something that has a mind of its own, and there seems to be a never ending battle where you as the sleeper are playing a constant game of cat and mouse. When sleep doesn’t arise, and we’re forced to engage in a night full of insomnia, it seems as if “all the wiles” do arise and we are left to deal with the thoughts that revolve around our daily struggles. When these struggles are all we can think about, they do become “much more painful” seeing how without sleep, without that break in the day, we’d never have the chance to rest and forget about everything that’s going on around us for a couple of hours. As children, when we were given the chance to nap at school yet constantly refused and loathed the idea of going engaging slumber, we failed to realize how important sleep really is for a healthy human mind. Without sleep, people would never be able to brush their worries away and participate in the outer body experience of dreaming. Without sleep, unsettled emotions and actions driven from adrenaline would never have time to settle and hidden conflicts would arise between those all around us. Without sleep, people wouldn’t fully be able to be who they are. We need sleep, more than we’ll ever know. Ya feel me?



Nutcracker vs. Doll's House

Ahh the holiday season, isn't it simply just the best time of year? From the egg nog to the Christmas movies, from the cold air to the holiday lights, and the jolly feelings to the growing excitement towards the new year, the holiday season brings us all together while at the same time allows us to happily reflect on what this year has had to offer. Out of all the things one can love about this beloved time of year (*cough* Oscar movie's come out during this time.....WHAT WHAT), one thing I've always found myself drawn to is the Ballets that are put on downtown at the Fox Theatre. Something about Ballets repeatedly pull me in with a desire for more (along with the desire to suddenly pick up a pair of pointe shoes and become a ballerina) due to the fact that they constantly make everything seem as if it is effortless and beautiful. This previous weekend, I went to a Nutcracker performance that was by my friend's dance company, and everything about it was simply divine. From the music (I've been listening to the song that went with the "Arabian" dance nonstop for the past two days) to the beautiful costumes, everything about The Nutcracker made these dancers appear as if they were dolls that had come to life just for that one night, just for that one show. Aside from the beautiful dancing, one thing that really struck me as interesting was the fact that within this performance all of the characters finally came to life once the lights were off and the family members had gone to sleep; the doll like dancers almost represented secrets that only came about when they were protected by the shadows of the dark. Being the AP Literature student that I am *wink*, I of course began to connect these dancers, and the theme of The Nutcracker, to our most previously read story, A Doll's House. When the toys, mice, and most importantly, the Nutcracker, finally came to life and began to dance, battle, and interact with one another, I suddenly found myself recalling scenes within A Doll's House in which characters true intentions we're brought to life. Krogstad and Nora shadowed the battle of the Nutcracker and the Mouse King; both characters revealed their past doings, along with their present doings, all in an attempt to get the point across that they were fighting for their lives and were willing to battle it out to the death in order to protect the one's they loved, along with their reputation. However, once other members of the household came into room and the duo were no longer in darkness or some form of shadow to protect their secrets, the characters true intentions we're pushed aside and the two began to "put on an act"; this instantly reminded me of the doings of the Nutcracker and the Mouse King while they were in the midst of their battle: while the lights were off and the family was asleep, the characters true intentions were brought to life, yet, once morning came and people began to rise around them, the characters began to "play a role" and soon appeared to be their normal doll like/ mouse like selves again. With all this being said, I've began to wonder exactly why the idea of darkness being a safety zone for one to reveal their secrets plays such a significant role within these two stories. Why is it that these characters seemed to put on a facade in the light, yet, showed everyone their true intentions once the lights were out? Was it because they were afraid of what the light could do to them once others saw what they really were doing behind their backs? Or is the meaning something that can never fully be understood? When people have secrets, they tend to keep them in the dark, due to the fact that some are afraid of the idea of being judged or letting down those who enjoyed them as they previously were, playing the role that they previously played. These two stories significantly connect to one another because they raise the question of why some people tend to be afraid of the light, yet, feel safe in the dark. What is it about the darkness that keeps people feeling safe? Isn’t that kind of ironic? Who knows. As time goes on, maybe someday someone will discover the answer to these questions, but at the moment all one can really do is sit back and enjoy the stories that are The Nutcracker and A Doll's House. Ya feel me?

Nora vs. Newland

So, I think it's safe to say that both The Age of Innocence and A Doll's House aren’t exactly what I expected them to be. First things first, The Age of Innocence is nothing like gossip girl *sigh*! I was expecting this book to be about the scandalous lives of New York's upper East Siders with a side of sassy expeditions and nonstop privileged drama......the reality of the novel is far from that. The book not only centers around a young man who tends to be overly hypocritical of the world he comes from but also around a society in which women couldn’t do much for themselves and were afraid of being judged for going after what they truly wanted in life (Blair Waldorf aka the queen bee of Gossip Girl's Upper East Side would most definitely not approve of the weak minded ways of these women). As if the boring, slow paced plot wasn’t enough, the main character, Newland Archer, acts like a girl more than he should! Sure, he makes it clear what the role of men was supposed to be during this time period, however, he always falls back on what he says, therefore, making him fall less and less into the roll that he describes and more and more into the position of a woman. Newland is whiny, judgmental, and indecisive, yet, he continues to judge women and others around him almost as if he is so much better than them and everyone else around him. Who is he to judge? If he's aware that these are the only life values these people have ever truly known why does he feel the need to be so harsh? It's pretty clear that Newland knows what his place in society is supposed to be/ what is expected of him, however, he doesn’t know how to use his position to the best of his abilities, thus, making him unable to actually go for what he wants in life. On the other end of the novel spectrum, there’s Nora from A Doll's House. Nora is a woman who is fully aware of her place in society, as well her husband's and everyone else around her, that not only utilizes her position to help get what she wants but also attempts to take care of those that she loves, whether her methods be immoral or not. Nora makes it very clear to her audience that she is her very pleased with the basic day to day tasks that she partakes in (hence her repeatedly telling Kristine how happy she is.......we get it) and that she wants to make sure her family is happy as they enjoy the moments of the upcoming holidays, however, Nora seems to relate to Archer in the sense that she doesn't fit into all aspects of the typical gender role. Women during Nora's time period weren’t allowed to handle money in any way, shape, or form, yet Nora borrows money behind her husband’s back in order to save his life and keep her family together. Sure, she embraces her gender role when it comes to squeezing excess money out of her husband or flirting with Dr. Rank, however, her intentions seem to be more selfless seeing how her desire for money is driven by her wanting for her family to stay out of debt and live happy lives. I'm not saying Nora isn’t selfish (she is.....her encounter with Kristine was actually super annoying. Where's your sympathy Nora??) But it seems as if she, the person who more so resembles a child like doll, has more mature wants in life than Newland, the person who is seen as this adult like New York man whose desires really reflect his own selfish wants and needs. These two puzzle me because they help show the way America has always seemed to value someone’s ability based off gender while also making it clear that sometimes not fitting ones typical role can either making them stronger (Nora, in a sense) or weaker (NEWLAND). Ya feel me?

American Horror Story aka FRANKENSTEIN (round 2)

Soooo it appears as if the current season of the phenomenal show American Horror Story (honestly everyone should watch......it may have some twisted themes but overall the show is a bon a fide thriller) just cannot seem to stay away from the underlying themes and messages that were once exploited throughout Mary Shelley's wondrous novel, Frankenstein. As the season continues to move on and various characters begin to develop internally and externally, situations keep popping up that are all too similar to the various escapades that happen within Frankenstein. An episode that vividly shows a similar relationship to the story of Victor Frankenstein's creature interaction with Mr. Delacey during one of his attempts to communicate with those around him is an episode named "The Axeman Cometh". During this episode, one of the witches of the coven, the "house mother", to be exact, becomes the victim of an act of violence and has acid thrown in her face, thus leading her to become blind. This tragic incident leads to her ironically gaining true sight; things she couldn’t see before about people’s true motives and previous actions suddenly become clear whenever she touches them in even the slightest way. For instance, this particular witches’ husband has been performing acts of adultery and murder behind his naive wife back; her mother is not one to become blind to his shady motives, however, the witch herself doesn't see past his lying exterior and goes on loving him without knowing of the unfair treatment she is actually receiving. Once the witch loses her literal sight and her husband attempts to interact with her while she is in the hospital, she gains true insight into the murderous/adulterous acts he has been engaging in and finally is able to grasp onto the characters true motives. As the episode continues, the witch begins to encounter various truths she couldn't acquire for herself before; the reasoning for a young witches suffering, the previous actions of the infamous "Axeman", and the revealing of her mother's previous murderous actions towards one of the Coven's young witches are finally brought to the characters attention. With all this being said, it's clear of the ways that those who are "lacking" sight are the ones who actually can see who a person truly is compared to others around them. In Frankenstein, Victor's creature has a brief encounter with Mr. DeLacey, a blind man who is the father of a kind, unwealthy family. Though his children and others in his community previously acted unkindly or fearful towards the lost, innocent creature, Mr. DeLacey, who is unable to actually catch a glimpse of this monstrous appearance, actually takes the time to listen to what the creature has to say and get to know him for who he is on the inside. The blind witch and Mr. DeLacey represent the harsh realities that have always appeared throughout society, and still do, in relation to the way people to tend to connect those who appear to be outsiders to this type of fearful unknown. The unknown can be scary, confusing even, and when someone doesn’t have full grasp on what’s going on around them or who they're interacting with, judgment tends to rise and emotions tends to overcome people and their coping abilities. The witch refused to accept what was right in front of her when she had sight because it was an unknown she feared and didn’t wish to see; her and Mr. DeLacey's blindness to the appearance of the unknown and first instinct of simply getting a feel for this new being or truth simply for what it was shows just how lacking sight can give someone the power to see what they need to see to accomplish greater things for themselves and others around them. Will society ever stop fearing the unknown? Or is the only way someone can really find a new truth to the life around them by losing their literal sight? Who knows. Times are changing, unknowns are continuing to rise, and if people want to survive and surround themselves with those with good intentions the negative first insight people have towards the world needs to be thrown aside so that the judgment free, motive catching form of sight we all need can be attained. Ya feel me?

Innocent Grendel vs. Experienced Grendel

So, the novel Grendel, by John Gardiner, was not what I expected it to be whatsoever. Grendel, the infamous brute like creature of the epic story Beowulf, was not only surprisingly human in the way he thought, functioned, and interacted with other animal like creatures around him but also miraculously influential when it came to the idea of how one's experience can impact their mental well being into becoming something completely different from their once completely innocent self; Grendel gains experience throughout this novel, and a lot of his internal shifts from a childlike, angsty being to a matured sinister, critical, and hopeless soul can be related to the poems "The Divine Image (Songs of Innocence)" and "The Human Abstract (Songs of Experience)", by William Blake. When we first meet Grendel he seems to be completely weighed down by his past experiences, even stating that "childhood feels great at first, before one happens to notice the terrible sameness, age after age" (Gardiner 9); Grendel stating this makes is very clear that he wasn’t always this way, and leads into the idea of him suddenly shifting inside "after his fall". Grendel's "fall" was enlightenment, and the burdens that came along with being completely aware of the world around him turned him into someone who criticized those who weren't aware not because he saw them as foolish and lost, but more so because he loathed the hope and positive outlook they had for the world. Grendel is almost sorrowful for his lacking of innocence, stating that "[he] used to take pride in that- the caution of owls when [his] shape loomed in, the alarm [he] stirred in the giant northern wolves. [He] was younger then. Still playing cat and mouse with the universe" (Gardiner 10). Grendel's playing of cat and mouse with the world around him was his time of innocence; his child like encounters that allowed him to explore the world around him while also hoping to one day become one with the society around him. Blake states in "The Divine Image", "to mercy, pity, peace, and love, all pray in their distress; an to these virtues of delight return their thankfulness" to describe the lacking of awareness those who haven't been through experiences process the world around them; everything is seen as whole, and nothing is seen as a root cause to problems that lie in every corner of society. The emotions of "mercy, pity, peace, and love" being stated as one whole personified being shows how when one lives a life of innocence they, they live a life of constant optimism; these separate factors that go into creating the whole that is society are not seen as different structures but instead as something that is one being that can be used for something to grow and prosper from. The outlook of those personified emotions being one related to Grendel before his enlightenment; before his experience his fall, Grendel saw the world as a whole factor into the future meaning of the universe. His strong faith in his innocent beliefs is what eventually lead to his harsh fall into reality after his enlightenment, and shows how one attempting to be the same free spirited soul after their fall is almost impossible to accomplish. Once Grendel becomes aware, he almost becomes one with "The Human Abstract"; Blake states within this specific poem “the raven his nest had made in its thickest shade" which correlates to Grendel's transition into his experienced self. Ravens symbolize shift, metamorphosis, and transitions which happen to be exactly the things people experience once they've experienced the world. Ravens are black, mysterious creatures that tend to lurk within the world around them, and once Grendel becomes experienced he does just that. Lurks around the common people. Mopes around with what seems to be a constant black cloud of unhappiness hovering around him. Criticizes the world he once loved. With all this being said, I ask you what does it all mean? Are these two works of literature attempting to tell readers that experience/enlightenment are bad and that the innocent stages in one’s life are what's needed if one wants happiness? Or that the experience one gains through life is positive becomes it allows them to become aware of the world around them in an attempt to make themselves stronger? Who knows, really? No one really does, and it’s for that reason alone that one must prepare themselves for what’s to come after their personal "fall". Ya feel me?

Juke Box Love Song

So on a day to day basis people can sometimes tend to feel constricted within their own lives, doings, and surroundings. The pressure to exceed everyone else's expectations in order to make a name for themselves, or stand out in a crowd, can drive people to a point of insanity in which they have completely lost themselves. People fail to realize that sometimes it easiest to become one with their surroundings and embrace the community in which they come from; if a person decides to find light for their life out of their usual surroundings, there is no limit to what they can accomplish. In certain periods during American history, communities and economies have suffered harsh downfalls that eventually led to depressions unemployment. Some chose to let the downward spiral of America to defeat them down to the core, while others chose other wise and made the best out of what they had. One little area of history that has always fascinated me is the Harlem renaissance; the ability for people to create mind boggling poems, speeches, pieces of music and so on during a time of economic turmoil and international war continues to amaze me. Out of all of the poetic pieces written within this period of history (so so so so many to choose from), one that I feel really characterizes the spirit of the Harlem Renaissance is "Juke Box Love Song" by Langston Hughes; this majestic little poem goes like this:

I could take the Harlem night

and wrap around you,

Take the neon lights and make a crown,

Take the Lenox Avenue busses,

Taxis, subways,

And for your love song tune their rumble down.

Take Harlem's heartbeat,

Make a drumbeat,

Put it on a record, let it whirl,

And while we listen to it play,

Dance with you till day--

Dance with you, my sweet brown Harlem girl.

Ok first things first, this poem just embodies jazz in my opinion; the smooth transitions and clever personification Langston Hughes uses in order to make the city around him and his "brown Harlem girl" come alive is mesmerizing. But more importantly, Hughes puts forth a message that allows one to really get a feel for what the spirit of the Harlem Renaissance was all about. Hughes and his counterpart are becoming one with the city; the duo "[taking] the neon lights and [making] a crown" makes a statement that’s pretty clear: they're the king and queen. The king and queen of the night. The king and queen of the moment. Harlem is their kingdom and in that particular instant their letting their worries drift away and simply becoming one with their city. From the making of a love song out of normal city rumbles to channeling in on the heartbeat of the city, the words written by Hughes shows that the Harlem Renaissance was a time of inspiration, innovation, and the bringing together or a community. As Hughes claims he simply wants to “dance with you till day” to his Harlem girl, a moment of enlightenment arises. They dance until the next day because nothing can bring their kingdom down. They dance until the next day because the surroundings of loved ones is the main source of drive that they need. They dance until the next day because with their city by their side, there’s nothing they can’t accomplish. Ya feel me?

 

American Horror Story aka FRANKENSTEIN

Ok, so it's definitely safe to say that fall is my favorite season. Perfect temperatures, non stop sunny days, and the fresh smell of lavender in the air.....what’s not to love? Oh that's right, nothing. On top of the perfect day to day weather that gives one a warm, fuzzy feeling on the inside, the season of fall marks the period for the return of various TV shows (all of which are kind of addicting). From the Vampire Diaries (obsessed) to Grey's Anatomy (obsessssssed), to Scandal (OBSESSED) to Modern Family (you guessed it......obsessed), it seems as if every day of the week is filled with TV shows that send one's emotions onto a high speed roller coaster that seems to be never ending. Out of all of the shows that return on the air during this season, the absolute most addicting one of all is American Horror Story; this show is not only filled with dark, mysterious, and sinister story lines that make one's skin crawl (perfect show for October *cough* Halloween) but also revolves around various topics that in a way- through the twisted writings of each episode- can make one question themselves, or even their "truth", if they were put into these insane situations. The current season revolves around a coven of witches, and while watching this previous week’s episode, named "Boy Parts", I couldn’t help but recognize the similarities the doings of these witches had in relation to the novel Frankenstein. During this specific episode, two of the witches within the coven attempt to create the “perfect boyfriend” out of various body parts that once belonged to several young men that one of the witches killed. They are warned not to engage in such a task, seeing how the form of magic they’d be using would be dark magic due to the fact that they would be cheating Mother Nature and tampering with the idea of life/death. As the witches began to cast on spell on their newly sown “boyfriend”, I instantly began to see the face of Victor Frankenstein; it was as if this episode was an exact replica of the events and outcomes that happened within Frankenstein which soon led to me wondering what the significance of tampering with Mother Nature and attempting to play god really means. The young witches create their “boyfriend” and his response to his unnatural creation is similar to that of Victor’s creature; the young male is unable to speak, appears monstrous due to his new profound uneven body proportions, and even becomes violent at times due to the isolation he now faces from the rest of society. Along with this monstrous “boyfriend” suffering from the unnatural creation he did not choose to have, the witches that created him instantly flee once they realize that they’re attempt to bring someone back from the dead/create a new being failed. As all this was going on, the images of Victor Frankenstein treating his creation like some demonic monster and leaving him alone to fend for himself popped right back into my head. The relationship between American Horror Story and Frankenstein highlights the dangers that can come along with untested knowledge and the desire to play god. In both situations, the creators selfishly give “birth” to some unnatural human-esque being, without actually considering how the outcomes could affect not only society and themselves but also the creature that they actually created. So now I can’t help but wonder, why is the desire to play god so unapproved by Mother Nature? What do these similar situations tell us about the different roles humans have in relation to the functioning of the universe? Sure each of these characters engaged into the creation of these “monsters” for selfish reasons, but if they had actually succeeded would the “crime” of cheating Mother Nature actually be looked down upon? Or in the end would they actually be viewed as gods? Who knows. In the end, only more episodes of American Horror Story and other Frankenstein like stories will truly tell. Ya feel me?

Love Song vs. Winesburg, Ohio

Reality.......some of us love to embrace it while others fear of what it really means. Taking hold of one's reality can be scary; it can be full of unknowns, regrets, and unwanted uncertainty. Our pasts have helped to mold us into the beings that we are today, however, previous actions may not make some as excited to grip reality by the hands as others. The poem "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock", by T.S. Elliot, and the novel Winesburg, Ohio, by Sherwood Anderson, intertwine with one another more than one may think based on the fact that they both shed light on a central theme: reality is the universal fear. Some fear reality to the point where they’re afraid to wake up (allusions of that can be found in T.S. Elliot’s poem) while others simply hide behind their "truth" in life due to the fact that its actual meaning may not be one that they were expecting. Whatever the reason, these pieces of literature help shed light on the idea that one's reality can haunt them if they don’t accept it for what it is and push to move past it.

So these two pieces of literature are obviously similar in there theme, but the way they portray this certain idea is what makes them so special. In T.S. Elliot's poem, the speaker is an old man, and alas, the same goes for Sherwood Anderson's modern novel. The speaker of Elliot's poem even describes himself as someone "with a bald spot in the middle of [his] hair", similar to Winesburg, Ohio, where the very first line of the novel describes the main character as "an old man, with a white mustache" (Anderson 3). The idea of these old men being the speaker of these works gives the writings a nostalgic feeling; their introductions set the tone for the rest of the novel and make one feel as if everything they’re saying/talking about is meant to be heard as some sort of a reflection about the many years of their existence. The writings also both make allusions to women being some form of beauty that they cannot blame for any of the doings that may have been previously done onto them; Elliot's speaker asks the question "is it perfume from a dress that makes me so digress?" while Anderson's speaker states that "the grotesques were not all horrible. Some were amusing, some almost beautiful, and one, a woman all drawn out of shape, hurt the old man by her grotesqueness" (Anderson 5). The reference to woman within these two writings sheds light on the idea of women being the central root of their internal struggles; the battle to decide whether women are a distraction keeping them from what they hope to accomplish or if they're what may have helped guide them throughout their life time is apparent and makes one question the nature of women. Each piece of writing also gives various descriptions of imagery that help make their reflections clear and analytical. Elliot's speaker begins to turn to the allusions of sirens and "human voices [waking him], and he drowns" making one question whether or not he himself is in nightmare (or maybe even lucid dreaming, there's so many different scenarios that fit....) and the idea of waking up to the less than satisfactory reality he's created for himself makes him fearful. Anderson's old man finds some form of pleasure in looking out the windows of his bedroom, and when his bed breaks, leaving him unable to participate in this activity, he becomes upset; his passion for looking out his window almost relates to him looking out into the life that was in front of him, allowing the imagery and citizens down below to help him feel as if he's regained his youth for that moment so that he can reflect on everything he's accomplished once more.

"The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" and Winesburg, Ohio relate to one another in sense that focus on the idea of internal reflection and internal shifts, whether they be positive or negative. The fear of the reality these old men have come to face makes clear of the idea that sometimes the life we are living is not the one we had always wanted and that eventually it may be easier to live out our deepest desires through dreams or strong moments of lucid reflection. Ya feel me?

For Selma

Poetry.......it seems as if this type of writing has actually begun to grow on me. Every time I search for a different poem to incorporate into one of my blogs, I end up coming across a new poet who's words leave a lasting impact on my mental state while at the same time dazzle my thoughts with the way these rhythmic pieces of writing are filled with hidden, memorable messages. Poems, though instrument less and beat less, are like songs whose "lyrics” simply cannot be ignored. These short little snippets of speech seem to always leave me with a lifted mental state; the majestic formation of every stanza is something that I, for one, cannot get a complete grasp on, yet, the way various beloved poets repeatedly spur fourth words of wisdom continues to amaze me. Seeing how I’m personally unfamiliar with the majority of the poets out there, finding the perfect poem to blog about never comes easy. Yet, when I find one that I particularly like, it sticks. These poems stick to my memory not just for the reason that they are short, sweet, and to the point (I can’t even help it, excess wording usually has me losing interest within the first three seconds of reading a poem) but also because the messages they secretly portray seem to always jump out at me. One poem specifically whose message happens to grab my attention, within the first few lines, is "For Selma", by Langston Hughes; this piece of poetry goes a little something like this:

“In places like

Selma, Alabama

Kids say,

In places like

Chicago and New York….

In places like

Chicago and New York

Kids say,

In places like

London and Paris….

In places like

London and Paris

Kids say,

In places like

Chicago and New York….”

So this poem is pretty repetitive, not going to lie, but the message within it always seems to grab my attention. I’ve read the poem over and over again and it seems as if every time the message it speaks becomes clearer. “For Selma” sheds light on the fact that people, no matter where they are in the world, no matter how beautiful the city in which they live is, always want more. From a young age, people begin to dream big, continuously imagining themselves in various locations throughout the world meeting new people, learning new things, and making a name for themselves. Unsatisfied within the place in which they live, people always strive to move from location to location in the hopes that changing their environment will spark a sudden life changing movement for them to take hold of. “In places like Chicago and New York……”; the repetitive notion of these lines allowed Langston Hughes to accurately depict the way people of his specific time period we’re feeling at that time. America has faced various downfalls, and when the reality that some people were living became too much to bear, the idea of going off into another country and starting from scratch seemed more tempting than ever. People are constantly moving; our emotions repeatedly impact our decisions, impulses, and internal state of mind. Humans, being the complex figures that we are, let passions run wild and steer the direction of our hearts desires/future doings. The urge to constantly fill our lives with excitement and spontaneity is what draws people towards the question of what is out there for them in “places like Chicago and New York”. Ya feel me?

Death

So, Winesburg, Ohio is full of stories that somehow intertwine into one another and lead to the book as a whole having a deeper mean than before. The seminars that were performed by the lit circles in class this week helped in explaining how specific stories had more substance to them when looked at/studied closely; "Death" was the story that my lit circle looked at, and after looking at articles, hearing what my other group members had to say, and simply rereading the chapter as a whole, my outlook on what that specific chapter brings to the novel changed completely. When I first read "Death", nothing about it really caught my eye. The protagonist’s mother dies, and he's left alone to decide whether or not he should venture off into the world alone, thus, leaving Winesburg behind. Pretty straight forward if you think about it, right? Wrong. Like so wrong. It's funny how going back and rereading the chapter, with specific questions in mind, opened up my perspective on the writing and led to fresh, internal conclusions being drawn about what the chapter actually symbolized. "Death" relates to the idea of one having a "truth" in life by showing how one's "truth" can in fact be, well, death. Elizabeth Willard is a character within Winesburg who has lived a long, miserable, loveless life; "she thought marriage would change the face of life" (Anderson 228), thus, what started her chain of miserable life events back in her youth. Elizabeth longed for adventure, but more than anything she longed for love. Her lack of communication with her father throughout her days of girlhood played a role in what drove her into so desperately desiring having a man that she could call her "own". Elizabeth deciding to marry Tom Willard just for the sake of marrying someone, instead of acquiring patience and waiting until someone she shared a true connection with to come along, is what morphed her "truth" into becoming not love, but death. Death soon becomes something that Elizabeth longs for; she craves it, hungers after it, almost in a lustful manner. She soon begins to claim death itself as her lover and speaks towards death in a way full of passion. “…she put out her hand, thrusting it from under the covers of her bed, and she thought that death like a living thing put out his hand to her” (Anderson 232); Elizabeth once grabbed for a hand in the darkness in the hopes of finding love, however, as the misery of life began to beat her internal state down, she began to grab for a new lover instead. Elizabeth greets death almost as if he is a long lost friend she has been waiting to see; the harsh realities that came along with her marrying a man for the wrong reasons soon began to haunt her in a somewhat ghostly way, and changed her “truth” in life to some would see as the worst. However, I found her new profound “truth” in death being as a positive thing. Elizabeth Willard’s personal knowing that the life she was living was offering her nothing to cherish or hold on to is what led to her experiencing an internal shift and coming to terms with the fact that death was a truth she could part ways with without regret. Death was the lover that released her from her suffering, and its impact on not only her life but also the life of her son is exactly what helped George Willard himself find his way in the end. Elizabeth Willard’s connection with death shows how everyone’s personal “truth” in life may not always be something that is expected of them, yet, in the end can provide them with the calming state of mind that they had once hungered for after all. Ya feel me?

Winesburg, Ohio: My Personal Reflection

So........Winesburg, Ohio. Totally different from what I was expecting it to be. From the cover art to the somewhat bland name, I was beyond sure that this book was going to be about some slow paced story that revolved around a sad little town in the middle of nowhere. Was the setting actually in a remote, off the grid, unknown town? Yes. Was the story slow paced and bland? Not at all. If anything, the novel was subtly intense (if that’s even possible). This novel-or short story, depending on how one personally views it- was captivating in the way that it shed light on the idea that everyone has a "truth" that represents their life and why exactly they may be the person they are today. Within the writings of Winesburg, Ohio, these "truths" are what make each individual story teller some form of a grotesque. The word grotesque means "absurdly incongruous, in a ludicrous context"; the characters within this novel all seemed to be a part of some "ludicrous" situation that molded them into their current mental states and impacted the "truth" that represents their lives. Each character tells their story in way that makes them an individual representation of tragic beauty; their souls we're once beautiful and pure, however, these characters sadly each endured a form of tragedy that led to know one understanding them or their true intentions, except for one character, George Willard. George Willard serves as not only the protagonist of the novel (if it even actually has one.....no one will ever know) but also a sort of safe haven that these people can turn to when they feel the time has risen to let the world know of the experience that led to them to having the title of a "tragic beauty". George Willard magically grasps each "truth" that the people within Winesburg have while showing that the characters within this novel are not as alone as they might think. Willard himself represents some form of a “tragic beauty” in the sense that his soul has proven itself to be pure enough to genuinely listen to/understand the stories of the people in Winesburg, Ohio without any form of judgment. That critical free sense of understanding George Willard possess not only plays the role of a vital quality for someone to have but also a key aspect in clearly getting across the way a comforting outside source can help an individual express their purpose for an overall deeper meaning of that individual’s place in the world. George Willard helps to show the beauty in the “truths” of all the characters within Winesburg, but one specific character, whose “truth” made an undeniable impact on this novel as a whole, in my personal opinion, was that of Wing Biddlebaum. Wing Biddlebaum is a quiet, reserved, ex school teacher who has a deep fear of the powers his hands possess. Wing's one desire in life is to express his beliefs that the students he teaches can amount to greater things in life, and he does just that through his hands. Sadly, the positivity he wishes to shed through his hands are mistaken for pedophilic doings and Wing is forced to leave his old life behind while becoming a stranger to society. George Willard eventually swoops in and not only gets Wing to tell his story, but shows a genuine understanding for what Wing's been trying to say all along. Without the inclusion of George Willard in Wing's life, the "truth" this character possessed would've never been made clear. Winesburg, Ohio is a novel that makes one question their own "truth" in life along with the idea of whether or not people would understand their "truth" in the same way that they personally do. Without someone ever being there to allow individuals to reveal how their "truths" can shed wisdom on the world, members of society would slowly begin to hide behind their tragic beauties and soon become a part of their own version of a world like Winesburg. Ya feel me?

A message within a message....

So Frankenstein, by Mary Shelley, uses various symbols throughout the novel to help highlight the deeper mean of the words within the tale; references to dangerous knowledge, feminist views, and monstrosity are a few symbols that occur throughout this intricate story, however, one symbol within the text that simply cannot be ignored is nature. Nature is something that seems to connect everything together in Frankenstein; it shows the intention of a characters next move, their true spirit, and the various emotions that are stirred up when situations arise. Mary Shelley broadcasts the effects nature has on one's internal spirit when she references the poem "Lines Written A Few Miles Above Tintern Abbey, On Revisiting the Banks of the Wye During A Tour", by William Wordsworth, while Victor Frankenstein is reflecting back on the different state of minds he and his dear friend, Henry Clerval, seem to have. The poem goes like this:

 

“The sounding cataract

Haunted him like a passion: the tall rock,

The mountain and the deep and gloomy wood,

Their colours and their forms, were then to him

An appetite; a feeling, and a love,

That had no need of a remoter charm,

By thought supplied, or any interest

Unborrowed from the eye”

 

The powerful message this poem gives off helps to shed light on the internal being/outlook on life that Henry Clerval possesses. Henry Clerval is a character who is full of life, optimism, and amicable qualities; the constant words of encouragement this man has for Victor show the passion and overall appreciation he has for life. “His soul overflowed with ardent  affections, and his friendship was of that devoted and wondrous nature that let the worldly-minded teach us to look  for only in the imagination” (Shelley 112); Victor’s words for his friend are almost spoken in a form of admiration. Clerval is a man who lives in the moment, and the appetite he has for natures “colours and forms” broadcast the way he uses his imagination as a form of guidance to help show him exactly what it is life has to offer. Nature haunts Clerval. Nature creates feelings of love and charm within Clerval. Clerval appreciates the beauty of nature for what it really is while Victor abuses its laws as a way to get ahead in life. Victor doesn’t cherish nature the way his peer does; he uses its beauty as a tool for societal gain while Clerval sees it as something to help him internally connect with himself to be the person he truly wishes to be. Victor lacks not only confidence within himself but also passion needed to help strive to accomplish something that HE can be proud of when he reflects back on his life; Victor’s main focus when it comes to showing the rest of society what he’s made of is exactly why this poem symbolizes his relationship with nature in a negative way. This poem, by William Wordsworth, fits into Shelley’s novel perfectly, seeing how a lot of the main points she get across deal with internal shifts these characters have. Wordsworth’s poem is full of internal/external shifts that help one see how a certain moment in one’s life can help them grow into mature beings with a worthy purpose. Henry Clerval’s connection with nature not only relates him to William Wordsworth in ways that Victor Frankenstein never could but also helps to make clear on the idea of the need for moments of internal reflection; by stopping and reflecting on what he has accomplished in life and realizing the blessing he has for being able to attach himself to nature in ways that help him grow, Henry Clerval represents another aspect of Victor Frankenstein that he wishes he was strong enough to take control of. Ya feel me?

They Went Home

 

Words....sometimes they don’t even sound real. Yet, these short little chunks of speech comprised of a few letters from the alphabet can have a large impact on the way a person feels, thinks, and even views others around them. Words can sting. Words can make one feel instant joy. But better yet, words can act as a shifting point in one's life that was needed to help inspire them and get them off their feet. I often find myself repeating a word over and over again and thinking, "What does this even mean? How is this actually apart of speech?"; if you say a word long enough, it begins to not even sound like itself! But no matter how interesting words may sound, when you break them apart down to their root the effects they can have are not only mind blowing but also memorable. Personally, words seem to have long lasting effects on me when it seems as if they're almost stated in a rhythmic motion with a little tune in the background. Almost like a song, but so much better. What could possibly be better than song, you might ask? A poem! Poetry seems to give words life in a way that puts some of the best lyrics to shame (especially modern day music......) and makes one analyze how they relate to the world around them. I can't lie, I don't exactly have very many poems memorized by heart (unless Dr. Seuss counts...?), however, the feeling of tranquility and light hearted reflection poetry makes me feel sent me out on a quest that led to me the poem, "They Went Home" by Maya Angelou. This poem goes a little something like this: "They went home and told their wives, that never once in all their lives, had they known a girl like me, but.....they went home. They said my house was licking clean, no word I spoke was ever mean, I had an air of mystery, but......they went home. My praises were on all men's lips, they liked my smile, my wit, my hips, they'd spend one night, or two or three. But....."; Ok, this poem definitely can be spoken in a little tune, which makes it so much more intriguing, but after reading over it a few times the true meaning of the words Maya Angelou had written down started to seep in. This poem appears to tell the story of a woman who is the desire of all men's eyes; wit, charm, and mystery seems to keep them coming back in hopes of discovering more about this beautiful being, however, they seem to always flee at the end of the day and leave her feeling confused. Maya Angelou's poem highlights the value of marriage in society; the woman being spoken of in this poem represents the mistress in some marital relationships. Though the cheaters themselves may truly find this new and exciting person to be someone who is full of life and kindness, at the end of the day these men refuse to break the bond that is known as marriage. Status in society appears to matter to people more and more as the days go on, and receiving the status of an adulterer is not what most people desire, hence, why the men in this poem continue to go back home back to their wives. “They Went Home” is a powerful piece of poetic literature, in my opinion, due to the fact that it almost attempts to shed light on the fact that marriage more than likely will persevere in the end that those who seek to find companionship in someone who is already unavailable end up receiving feelings of rejection and isolation as time goes on. To think that I was able to decipher a powerful message that is constantly attempting to steer society in a more wholesome direction all from this short, little, poem is crazy. Words….they really are more than simply letters from the alphabet; their little bullets of guidance that can make one question themselves and others around them. Ya feel me?

Summer Reading Reflection: What It Really Meant

Summer reading.....you either love it or you hate it. I can't lie, the thought of summer reading usually makes me anxious; somehow with the endless amount of days summer provides, I still end up feeling as if there's not enough time for me to actually dive into books that I love and read just for the sake of reading. However, this summer was different. When I read the summer reading assignment for AP Literature, I was overjoyed to find out that one of the required books we had to read was-wait for it-a book of our choice! My excitement for a free read book was a little ridiculous, but honestly, who could blame me? Finally an assignment that allowed me to sit back, relax, and indulge in the sensational joy ride of imagery and emotion most novels take me through. From re-reading a few Harry Potter novels (my absolute favorites), to finding a new favorite in the memoir The Color of Water (couldn't put that one down!), the range of genres I poked my head into this summer were limitless. Out of all the novels I read this summer, the one that really stuck with me was Wicked, by Gregory Maguire; though I had already seen the play and had a glimpse into what the story would be about, reading the actual book itself was way better than I could have ever imagined. Before I had ever read (or seen the play) Wicked, I was one of the numerous amounts of people who believed the Wicked Witch of the West was simply evil for no reason, that Dorothy and her pack of loyal follower’s we’re completely innocent, and that Glinda the Good Witch of the South was entirely incapable of doing anything mean onto another person; however, reading this novel made it even more clear to me that every person has their own version of a story and that seeing things from someone else’s perspective can actually make a difference at the way one views a situation. To my surprise, the Wicked Witch of the West, who was in fact named Elphaba, hadn’t always been wicked; the unjust doings of society eventually drove her to be wicked and wreak havoc onto those who had treated her unfairly in the past. Elphaba sadly faced rejection from her family, peers, and professors due to her appearance being one that was less than normal-she was born with unnaturally colored green skin due to her mother’s affair with a wizard before she was born. When the time came for Elphaba to finally find a friend in a witch named Glinda the Good, it seemed as if her problems would eventually fade out. In private, Glinda expressed her true friendship with Elphaba and realized her appearance didn’t actually correlate with who she was on the inside; however, society’s instant disapproval towards anyone who steps outside the box and associates with someone who is believed to be an “outsider” led to Glinda betraying Elphaba in a time of need simply to allow her own personal status in society to stay high and mighty. After finishing the novel, it became clear to me that Elphaba and Victor Frankenstein’s creature we’re similar in various ways; both characters we’re instantly scorned and disliked by the rest of society simply due to their appearance, faced rejection and feelings of being unwanted from those that we’re supposed to be their loving parents, and became wicked beings due to the miserable lives society was creating for them. Did both characters have a choice when it came to the wicked doings they eventually released on those who did them wrong in the past? Yes; however, I believe these two novels over looked that to broadcast just how big of an impact the interactions one faces with others in society can really be on their life. Both Maguire and Shelley shed light on the innocent beginnings these characters once had while making it clear that without proper guidance and amicable companions, one may feel the need to rebel against society and inflict pain onto others in a way that compares to the lifelong pain they’ve had to face. Ya feel me?

Frankenstein.......NOT what I was expecting

So the novel Frankenstein, by Mary Shelley, is not what I expected it to be at all. In fact, my mental image of what the book would be about was completely different from what I actually ended up reading. First things first, Frankenstein ended up not being the monster......how crazy is that? So crazy, I know. When I would hear the word Frankenstein as a child-or even as recent as oh, I don’t know, this past summer- I would instantly imagine the story being about this large, green being (that I of course thought was the one actually named Frankenstein) who was created by some neighborly, well loved, mad scientist and everyone in the little village would accept this different "person" as if he was a big, friendly giant; almost like the way the towns people in The Nightmare Before Christmas accepted Sally, the rag doll like creation of the notorious Dr. Finklestein. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case at all! Besides my dreams being crushed when it hit me that Frankenstein was simply the last name of the scientist who created this "monster" like figure (seriously so disappointing), the reality of the themes and situations the novel actually explored were quite shocking. This novel had some deep hidden messages inside of it, and after reading the novel I couldn't help but sit back and reflect on what it all meant. Two themes that continued to pop up throughout the novel that repeatedly caught my attention as I read were the "Unjust Society" and "Role of the Parent/Creator". In my opinion, Shelley did an excellent job of shedding light on the fact that society can be cruel, judgmental, and overall unjust. If we really think about it, this whole story began when Victor Frankenstein's scientific opinions were unfairly judged and scorned by his peers; the way his fellow classmates and professors tossed his ideas aside while also shunning him from social acceptance soon led to him becoming driven with the desire to prove all those who tore him down wrong. Victor was an outsider, and the unfair treatment he received due to the fact that his view on science was different from those around him goes to show how society can be quick to put down anyone who the majority classifies as not fitting into the “social norms”. Thus, explaining the unfair treatment Victor’s creation later on received. The treatment of the “monster” was honestly a mix of Victor’s overall failed parenting skills and society’s refusal to sit back and not judge a book by its cover. None of the abuse this poor creature encountered was necessary! Victor’s refusal to step up and take responsibility for this new being he created by showing it how to interact with nature, speak, and even look presentable to those around him is what led to the unjust things that happened to his innocent friends and family members; his unfair treatment towards the monster is what led to the devastating deaths of three people he truly loved. As if Victor’s failed parenting skills weren’t enough for the monster to face, the harsh realities of the world we live in tore him down as well. All the monster wanted was someone to love and share an amicable relationship with, but the unfortunate outward appearances he had, due to Victor and his selfish quest for social acceptance, eventually led to him terrorizing innocent civilians in the end. I actually felt for the monster in his times of rage; the unnatural creation he had was not something of his choice, and the rejection he encountered from the one who actually created him was wrong and flat out disappointing. Ya feel me?